How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
