I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
