physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
