so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
In America we eat man semen.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
