Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".

Fav 8 7574 1344
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.

Fav 9 3010 1097
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.

(201): View more from New Jersey

I am both scared and jealous.

Fav 4 3265 1270
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(316): View more from Kansas

Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first

Fav 6 1762 1139
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.

Fav 22 1952 1165
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(212): View more from New York

You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines

Fav 14 1768 904
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(248): View more from Michigan

I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.

Fav 0 61 9
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(704): View more from North Carolina

After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.

Fav 0 79 16
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