Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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