Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize