i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize