You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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