Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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