drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
