Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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