there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
