I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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