its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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