I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
