R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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