is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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