i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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