actually, I'm a sock model
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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