I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
