So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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