she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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