I'm lost and stupid without you.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
How external is "for external use only"?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
