Your tits are I can't wait for
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So much Jack, so little girl.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
