True but thats because hes a fetus.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize