thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
