32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
