We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
