Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
