YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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