Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
