i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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