I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
