What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
