ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
