woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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