just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
