A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
