Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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