well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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