take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
