I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
