Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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