You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
