Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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