they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
