i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize