Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
