so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
