i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize