Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Why are your pants in the freezer?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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