Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Drake has all the answers
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
