Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
