she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
