Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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