Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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