I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
