I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
