just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
