I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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