Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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