weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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