I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
