Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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