Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
