her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
