You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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