the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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