hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
